Gary Chapman created the 5 Love Languages over 25 years ago to help couples better understand how to communicate with one another in a way that shows love and support. But, what about Friendship Languages?

While the 5 love languages are important to a romantic relationship, there can be a similar language set to having a healthy friendship. We all have those people in our lives who are there for us through the thick and thin of life and those friendships started on top of a language that took time to cultivate.

The following are 5 languages to a friendship that can help the friendship feel like it can go through the toughest of times and come out stronger in the end.


Are you someone who is either hesitant to reach out to friends or has no worry and will reach out all the time? If this feels true for you then initiation is an important part to your friendships.  Taking the initiative to talk to a friend you have known for a long time but haven’t spoken to recently or starting a new friendship can be scary in so many ways.  When you do reach out to a friend or have a friend reach out to you it makes you feel connected with meaning you are more excited to hear how that person is doing or see them.

Quality Time

Are you someone who feels recharged after talking to your friend, or need to see or spend time on the phone with your friend to know that there is a connection? If this feels true for you then quality time is important to you.  Spending time with a friend whether it is in person or over the phone shows each of you how much you care and helps to make the connection stronger.


Are you someone who everyone comes to for support? Or do you have that one friend that you tell everything to? Do people always know that you will be there for them? If this feels true for you then you are someone who believes that support is a corner stone to being in a healthy friendship.  Support comes in all different forms, it can be just listening to what someone has to say, always dropping everything to help a friend or even just letting a person know you are here for them.


Are you someone who will always give to your friends whether it be your time or a material item? Are you always going above and beyond for your friends or having your friends do the same for you? When you think about generosity and feel pride in doing this for your friends then it means you are someone who uses generosity to show a connection with another person.


Loyalty in a friendship comes in many different variations, and if you are someone who will always stick up for your friends and wish the same done for you then this is a language you use to show your connection.


It is important to understand where you fall within each of them to better understand how you communicate with your friends.  If you feel like you are struggling in one of these categories, then I encourage you to ask yourself why you struggle with it and find ways to make more of an effort. If you would like professional help, we’re here to help guide you.

-Beth Sanders, MA, LMHC

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